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What Makes You Proud?

 

The first section of Parashat Emor presents the special laws that apply to the kohanim, the additional restrictions that they need to be observe because of their unique status in the nation.  When Hashem tells Moshe to teach these laws to the kohanim, He says, אמור אל הכהנים...ואמרת אליהם – "Speak to the kohanim…and speak to them," indicating that there are two different "speakings."

 

Rashi brings the Midrash's explanation of this repetition: להזהיר גדולים על הקטנים – "To warn the adults with respect to the children."

 

Meaning, Moshe was to teach these laws to the kohanim, and also to instruct the kohanim to teach these laws to their children.

 

The obvious question arises, is this not true about the entire Torah?  Isn't there an obligation on all parents to teach their children what the Torah requires of them?  Why specifically in the context of the unique laws of the kohanim must Hashem emphasize the parents' responsibility to pass these mitzvot onto their children?

 

The answer, I believe, is very important – for all of us, and not just for the kohanim...

 

Kohanim have the challenge of explaining to their kids that they cannot do certain things that other people can do.  Their children might likely resent having special restrictions that others don't have.  And so the Torah needs to emphasize to the kohanim that they must meet this challenge.  Hashem says to Moshe, אמור אל הכוהנים בני אהרון – "Speak to the kohanim, the sons of Aharon."  He was telling them to emphasize the great privilege they have to descend from Aharon, the first kohen, to excite them with the awareness that they are special.  The kohanim are to speak of their status with pride, depicting it to their children as a badge of honor.  This way, the youngsters will not resent the additional restrictions entailed.

 

This idea is very personal for me. 

 

Growing up in Deal, my father was a Rabbi and my mother was a teacher.  We did not have lots of money for extras like most others in the community.  But not only did we not feel that we lacked anything, but to the contrary – we felt a special sense of pride.  We felt proud to be a family of Torah, a family of Torah leadership and education, a family of hesed, a family that contributed so much to the community.  The gap in materialism between us and others was not a factor at all.  We were proud to be a family of Torah and hesed.

 

Sadly, many people spend lots of money that they don't have, or put themselves under a great deal of pressure to afford certain things, because they're worried about their reputation, about how people will talk about them.  This is unfortunate – and wrong – for several reasons.  One of which is that people who will talk negatively about somebody who hosts simple affairs, who drives a simple car, or who lives in a simple house, will likely talk negatively about him no matter what he does.  It is delusional to think that we can make sure everyone thinks highly of us.  I know as a Rabbi that I cannot possibly expect to win everyone's respect and admiration.  There will always be people who look down on us or who criticize us, for whatever reasons.

 

But additionally, it is a terrible mistake to make material things our source of pride, what we're all about, the thing that our lives revolve around, as our "brand" and "label."  Seeking fulfillment and happiness through material things is like eating pretzels when you're thirsty – rather than quenching the thirst, it makes you even thirstier.  True joy and contentment are achieved when we live with meaning and purpose, when we fill our lives with things that really matter, that have real value.  Of course there is nothing wrong with enjoying material blessings.  The problem becomes when we turn materialism into the primary focus of our lives, into our primary goal, into our source of pride and of our sense of accomplishment.  This will leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled.

 

True fulfillment comes from making our lives primarily about Torah, spirituality, hesed, contributing to the community, helping people.  This is where we should be seeking our feelings of pride and gratification, and our sense of accomplishment.

 

להזהיר הגדולים על הקטנים.  Our responsibility to our children is to fill them with pride over our identity as a Torah family, as a hesed family, as an idealistic family, as a family that lives each day the way Hashem expects His special nation to live. - Joey Haber

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https://itorah.com/weekly-inspire/what-makes-you-proud/15/31270