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Public & Private

 

Parashat Ahareh-Mot begins with a description of the עבודת יום הכיפורים – the special service performed by the kohen gadol in the Bet Ha'mikdash every Yom Kippur.  Whereas in our time, without a Bet Ha'mikdash, the Yom Kippur experience is centered in the shul, in the past it was focused on the Bet Ha''mikdash, where the kohen gadol would offer a special series of sacrifices that would bring atonement for the nation.

 

Surprisingly, though, this series of korbanot (sacrifices) began with a sacrifice that the kohen gadol would offer on behalf of himself and his family, an animal which he was required to purchase with his own money.  On this day when the entire nation depended on the kohen gadol, when he represented all Am Yisrael before G-d, and acted on their behalf, he needed to first do something private, to bring a korban for himself and his family.

 

To understand why, let us talk for a moment about celebrities.

 

Many celebrities, despite having more money than they know what to do with, have utterly dysfunctional lives.  They get a lot of attention from millions of fans, but they do not have a happy family life.  The reason is, very simply, that they are entirely focused on their public lives, without giving much time or thought to their private lives.  The fame they enjoy is so intoxicating, and so consuming, that they don't put in the effort needed to build a happy, stable private life.

 

On Yom Kippur, the kohen gadol was the nation's leading public figure.  Nobody was more important than him.  He was taking center stage.  All eyes were on him.  Therefore, the Torah commanded him to begin the special service of this day as a private individual, offering a personal korban for himself and his family.  He was reminded that his public persona must not overshadow his private identity, that his personal life was no less important than his public life.

 

Indeed, the Torah concludes this section by stating, ויעש כאשר ציווה ה' את משה – that Aharon, the first kohen gadol, faithfully complied with these laws regarding the Yom Kippur service (16:34).  Rashi explains:

 

להגיד שבחו של אהרן שלא היה לובשן לגדולתו אלא כמקיים גזירת המלך.

 

To express the praise of Aharon—that he would not wear them for his own grandeur, but rather as one fulfilling the decree of the King.

 

The Torah emphasized that Aharon performed this service with humility, for the sake of serving Hashem and discharging his duties, and not to draw attention to himself and feel distinguished.  He kept the public nature of his role in check, and ensured it didn't go to his head and lead him to see himself as more important than everyone else.

 

A famous Mishnah in Pirkeh Avot (4:21) warns of three things that "remove a person from the world" (מוציאין את האדם מן העולם), meaning, that can ruin his life.  These include קנאה – jealousy – and כבוד – the pursuit of fame and prestige.  When a person is too preoccupied with his public image, with the way other people perceive him, with his reputation, this can lead him to neglect his private life, his family, his friends, his self-fulfillment, and his relationship with Hashem.  Too many people subject themselves to unnecessary financial stress because they feel the need to "keep up," to do what other people do, to avoid the "embarrassment" of lower material standards.  Luxuries turn into necessities for one reason and one reason only – because the neighbors have them.  People end up doing things they know are wrong, that they know are harmful, or that they know makes their lives worse, because they are so concerned about their public image, about how they are seen by other people.

 

We need to remember that reputation means very little if we are not living the lives that we are happy with, that we feel comfortable with, that we know is right for us.  Even the kohen gadol, at his most public moment, was warned not to neglect his private life – to teach him, and to teach all of us, that what matters most is not what the public thinks about us, but what we think about ourselves, what those closest to us think about us, and, of course, what Hashem thinks about us.

- Joey Haber

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https://itorah.com/weekly-inspire/public-and-private/15/31234