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Humility is Everything!

 

Parashat Vayeshev tells the story of Yosef and his brothers, and it introduces this story by stating, אלה תולדות יעקב, יוסף – "These are the offspring of Yaakov: Yosef…" 

 

Although Yaakov had many children – twelve sons and a daughter – the Torah identifies specifically Yosef as Yaakov's תולדות – "offspring."

 

Rashi brings several explanations for why Yosef is presented as Yaakov's only child, one of which is שהיה זיו אקונין של יוסף דומה לו – Yosef's appearance resembled Yaakov's appearance.

 

Why would this resemblance justify describing Yosef as תולדות יעקב?  Why is it so significant that Yosef looked like Yaakov?

 

The Bat Ayin explains that Rashi actually does not refer to physical appearance.  Rather, Rashi means that Yosef aspired to be like Yaakov.  Yosef was considered Yaakov's primary child because of Yosef's unique level of humility, recognizing how far he had to go to be like his father, how much he had to learn from his father, how much greater he needed to become so he could approach his father's level.  More than any of Yaakov's other children, Yosef wanted to be like Yaakov.

 

Later, the Torah describes Yosef as Yaakov's בן זקונים, which seems to mean that he was born when Yaakov was already an older man.  The ancient Targum Onkelos translation, however, translates this phrase as בר חכימא ("a wise son").  The Bat Ayin writes that the word חכימא is related to the verb חכה – "wait," or yearn, and anticipate.  Yosef yearned to be like Yaakov.  He aspired to follow Yaakov's example and rise to his level of greatness.

 

The Bat Ayin adds that this is why Yaakov made a special coat for Yosef called the כתונת פסים.  The word פסים is related to the word אפס – "nothingness," an allusion to Yosef's exceptional humility, how he regarded himself as "nothing" in comparison to his father.  Later, when Yosef went to his brothers, they removed this special coat before throwing him into a pit and then selling him as a slave.  The Bat Ayin explains that this hints to something more than simply the physical act of removing the garment.  As long as Yosef was in his father's presence, he remained humble, recognizing how much more he had to grow.  But when he was with his brothers, who were not as great as he was, he lost his sense of אפס, he started feeling more complacent – and this led to his downfall.

 

Indeed, humility is the key to everything, to every form of success.  When a person learns Torah, he can succeed and become a scholar only if he recognizes that there is still so much Torah that he needs to learn.  If a person pursues a profession or starts a job, he will succeed only if he realizes how little he knows about the field and how much he needs to learn and discover.  A person's relationships – with friends, children, spouse, and everyone else – are so much better if he is humble, if he can respect other people and acknowledge that he has what to learn from them.  And a person will be so much more accomplished, and contribute so much more to the world, if he puts his ego to the side and focuses on achieving rather than impressing people, getting credit, and making a name for himself.

 

This is one of the lessons we learn from the story of Yosef.  A person's downfall begins when he loses his כתונת הפסים, his awareness of אפס, that everything he knows is nothing compared to what he still has to learn, and everything he has accomplished is nothing compared to what he can still accomplish.  The moment we stop living with ambition, with a drive to reach the level of Yaakov Avinu, with a desire to grow and achieve more and more – we begin to fall. 

 

Conversely, when we live with ambition, when we realize that we can be so much greater, then our lives becomes incredible.  We then live with energy and enthusiasm, with zeal and passion, and we take full advantage of every day that Hashem graciously gives us here in this world.

- Rabbi Joey Haber

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https://itorah.com/weekly-inspire/humility-is-everything/15/30709